Why I am here?

Why am I here?
...blogging, that is.

First, let me give you a little background on my psyche. I've always been one of those people that pretty much keeps my mouth shut...well, about anything that really matters, I guess. For the most part, I've always been that person that just kinda goes along to get along. I'm a yes girl.

"What do you need?"
"Of course, I don't mind helping."
"Oh, no, you're right...I'm not offended at all."

Yep...those have been repeated by me over and over and over and...well...you get the point. I do not like confrontation and I have this bizarre need for everyone to like me and oftentimes, I feel like it is my responsibility to make sure that everyone around me is happy. So, I tend to get lots of little holes in my tongue from trying to keep everything on the inside. I'm really very good at this. There are things I've buried so deep down, even Houdini couldn't get them out. Sometimes I do tend to explode and things just burst out. I've noticed this happens more as I get older. But even when things fly out of my mouth, i.e. "Did I say that out loud?" I'm still pretty good at clamping down on the tongue before it gets too out of hand. I know, I know, it's sometimes better just to let everything out and just deal with it. But that really doesn't fit into my plan of A)avoiding confrontation, B)having people like me, or C)making sure everyone is happy. So, you can see my dilemma here. Plus having things pushed down as deep as I've pushed them, some have had years to fester, and more importantly have probably become distorted in my head.

So, having this uncontrollable desire to get some of these feelings and thoughts out of my head, while at the same time, not wanting to hurt anyone, or make anyone the least little bit uncomfortable or unhappy, and, of course avoiding the evil confrontation monster, I have landed here at Blogger where I will write what I need to write about whatever topic is on my mind.

I have absolutely nothing newsworthy to say. I'm not sure that I even have anything blog worthy to say. I may write some things that will make you think that I'm a rude, selfish bitch. I may write some things that make you think I'm a pathetic person with no backbone. I may even write some things that may make you wonder why I'm still living on the outside and not in some white, padded room.

But regardless, I will continue this until all of the words that are fighting to get out of me are released.